Hi friends! Happy Thursday.
1. Hop in the picture mama, but not too many. Geez, you’re so narcissistic.
2. Watch your kids closely and constantly. There are tricky people lurking among the aisles of Target. But not too closely. Come on helicopter mom. Calm down.
3. Get yo’self to playdates. Your kids need to develop social skills the minute they exit the womb. However, children’s friendships are too forced these days. Let them make friends organically like when we were kids. Except don’t let them ride their bikes or play outside with other kids in the neighborhood. You don’t know those kids! Do you even care about your children at all?!
4. Don’t worry so much about buying organic food. You grew up on Kraft Mac n Cheese and you have a refined palate don’t you? But for the love of all. Don’t feed your children red dye number 9! You fed your baby puffs?!! You. Monster.
My opinion: This one is ACTUALLY hard for me, but I do think we’ve found our balance and I don’t lose any sleep over it. Maxwell’s daycare provides breakfast and lunch, and I know he gets processed items and things I wouldn’t pick. At home we feed him what we eat for the most part, so we better be eating healthfully ourselves. I think it is really funny when parents think their kid needs all organic everything and then they are eating like shit themselves. Like no, we all need a balance including the little people. Call me a monster because Max definitely got his fair share of puffs 😉
5. Rock your mom bod! Be proud of your tiger strips! But not in a bikini. Never. I repeat never in a bikini.
My opinion: Again, we all know how I feel about this one. I LOVE rocking my baby bump in a bikini and I was also in a bikini 6 weeks after birthing Max. Not because my body is perfect, because I want to show off, or because I had bounced back that fast. BUT because I felt comfortable and confident with the mama bod. I had JUST had a baby and now I am GROWING a baby, so I’m not worried about the extra curvature or squishy postpartum belly. Do whatever YOU feel confident in, but don’t let anyone tell you never to wear bikinis 😉
6. Millennial Moms are too child-centric. This is ruining marriages, damaging future generations, and is throwing off the Earth’s gravitational pull. What? You want “Me Time”? You can’t pour from an empty cup? How selfish. Millennials only think about themselves.
My opinion: Well, we’re going on a 6 day vacation without Max to nourish our marriage.
And this was my Instagram caption the other night: “Just a lady that believes that I don’t have to lose myself to be a good mama ????? As women we have to get more comfortable saying I love being a mama..BUT, hell yeah I still love working out 5 days a week. I’m passionate about blogging my heart (new post up??), and I’m pumped to launch a business (cc: @expectingandempowered ). Of course YOU fill in your own blanks ??? Maybe those blanks ARE making you the best mama you can be!”
We’re also obsessed with Maxwell and have found we don’t need as many dates nights as we pre-baby thought we needed. I think there is definitely a balance, and you don’t be afraid to still be YOU…the mama version.
7. Children these days lack discipline! The next generation is unruly! But never tell your children no. Don’t use time outs unless you want to pay for endless years of therapy. You refused to buy your child a toy at Target and now he’s CRYING? I’m calling the authorities.
My opinion: We’re not concerned about saying no to Maxwell, even if it is met with a tantrum. Drew definitely falls on the more strict side, whereas I’ll let him do something if it isn’t hurting anything. Honestly if you are a parent, there is no way that you’ll avoid a Target tantrum. They are inevitable. You just have to smile as your child is going nuts and stand your ground if they don’t need that toy. Greet people’s judge-y eyes with a smile and say, “He is pretty wild, isn’t he?”
8. Don’t forget the sunscreen! Even if you don’t go outside, your children should be completely coated in sunscreen. Hello. Sun rays come through the widow. Duh. But there are deadly chemicals in sunscreen so take caution when you use it and only use it sparingly. #knowbetterdobetter
My opinion: UGH. These are the mixed messages that ARE frustrating. The ones about your child’s health. As a cancer nurse, I’m lathering my baby with sunscreen from head to toe and typically not the organic variety. I’m a weigh the benefits vs. risks type of person and I believe sunscreen is the way to go. Skin cancer is bad you guys, believe me I’ve seen it firsthand.
9. Breast is best. You can legally feed your child anywhere! Know your rights. But put those girls away in public if you have any decency at all.
My opinion: FREE THE BOOB! I’ve said this before, but I didn’t understand breastfeeding until I did it myself. I wish everyone had to breastfeed a newborn age child for a week to understand that they go from zero to hangry real quick and sometimes they are NOT about those covers. On this one I fall into the corner of: LOOK AWAY if it bothers you, it really isn’t that big of a deal.