Hi friends! Happy Thursday.
After writing Let’s Talk About Sex (After) Baby I got A LOT of feedback. Much of it was positive and thanking me for bringing light to a topic that is often NOT talked about. Several women made appointments with their OB or a women’s health physical therapist. That is EXACTLY why I wrote it! To help women realize what is normal and not normal down there.
BUT, there was one piece of feedback that I KEPT getting. Amy, none of that covers my problem.
I kept hearing: My problem is LACK OF SEX DRIVE. I’m NOT interested in it.
As a blogger, I’m ONE person with ONE set of experiences. Although I always want everyone to feel welcome and supported, there are times when I’ve realized that might not come from ME! SO I asked a few mamas to tell me more, in case this is an issue you are experiencing too. I’m keeping it anonymous, not that it is anything to be embarrassed about…
Here we go:
I asked this woman if I could share her feedback! I loved her self reflection and wishing that she had been more honest with her husband:
“This post is very helpful, but it doesn’t really touch on another part of sex that I think a lot of women have a problem with postpartum. Physically I was ready after 7 weeks and it was actually pretty great (LOTS lube and foreplay🙊)! But my big issue was lack of labido and sex drive. I love my husband so much, but sex was just the last think I wanted to do. I would dread going to sleep next to him thinking that he might attempt it, or I would have to psych myself up all day just to mentally get myself ready. I didn’t talk to my husband about this for a long time because I felt bad and like something was wrong with me. I continued to feel that way until I was done breastfeeding at 11 months postpartum and I suddenly had a hormonal epiphany. I know this is not something that happens to everyone, but I think it is important to remember how much our hormones can play a role in the intimacy. I wish I would have been more honest with my husband during that time, letting him know how I was feeling and spent less time feeling ashamed for not having the same labido pre baby.”
I asked this woman because I knew she was a good writer 😉 AND because I knew her labor and delivery experience impacted their sex life postpartum. She did not disappoint and shared some incredible insight:
“Sex postpartum. Thinking about being close to your partner after giving birth to your new baby may be the furthest thing from your mind. But for some people, the drive bounces back quickly – for others, it doesn’t. I was the latter.