Hi friends! Happy Thursday.
Hope everyone’s week has been great! We’ve been a struggle bus over here with a sick toddler and a newborn. But, we’re surviving and we’ll be REALLY dang thankful when everyone is feeling better. SO thankful to my in-laws for all of their help while Drew was away, I really couldn’t have done it without you.
The subject of women empowering women is one that I’ve grown SO passionate about and one that has been on my heart lately. Many of the books I suggested in this Make a Push Toward the Positive post inspired my way of thinking. Not only do many of them directly speak to this subject, but they encourage readers to grow, evolve and succeed. Focus on YOU improving YOU, not where other people fall short. 😉 Seems like most successful women have figured out that it is best to empower other women.
Here is where I think WE as women can IMPROVE:
- Comparison. I truly do believe it is the thief of joy. Wishing for someone else’s life, body, milk supply, husband…isn’t going to get you anywhere but more resentful and unhappy. Giving your energy to comparison is not energy well spent. I very much concentrate on where I can improve as a person, wife, mama, nurse, business owner…and do my best to stay in my own lane. When I was in my 20s I really struggled with not comparing my timeline to my friends. For example, when my friend became engaged after only a few months of dating…I cried. I was thinking, DREW! We’ve been dating for YEARS! Why aren’t you ready to propose yet? I know I would deal with this A LOT better now, but wanted to share that it was definitely a struggle before.
- Rude comments. I could make a LONG list of things you should not say to another woman. In fact, I’m going to do that:
- “When are you going to try for a baby?” I’ve had way too many friends struggle to get pregnant and now understand the magnitude and impact that this question can have on other women. Make sure NOT to follow it up with, “Oh, we got pregnant when we stopped trying!” or “It is best not to stress about it.” Oofta, we’re better than this!
- “You still aren’t dating anyone?” My friend at work was telling me about her single gal struggles and how rude people are about it. She said she feels like replying, “Yes, actually it is my main goal in life to die alone.” She is hilarious and wants to make the person feel awkward and idiotic for being rude.
- “How much weight have you gained during pregnancy?” Um, none of your business?!
- “Oh my gosh, you’re SO big already. I only gained 15 pounds when I was pregnant.” Wait, wtf? When is that normal to say to someone?
- “How much weight do you have to lose before you are back down to your normal weight?” Um, again none of your business. Listen, if it is a close friend she’ll likely tell you about it if she wants to.
- “What do you do all day? I don’t think I could ever stay at home with my kids!” Man oh man, come over and take care of my two kiddos and you won’t need to ask anyone that ever again.
- “How do you work? I don’t think I could ever work and be away from my kids so much!” Whether that woman prefers to work or needs to, she doesn’t need you to impose your thoughts about it.
- Needing to get something back. THIS ONE! I’ve been freely sharing my friend’s blog posts or tagging them on Instagram WITHOUT needing or wanting anything back. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we just cheered for each other without needing to keep score or get something in return? I’m doing my best to live that motto out because I think it is SO important for women to realize that there is room for all of our success. I always tell myself: her success does not mean my failure (see point 1 about comparison).
- Holding grudges. SO many of the books that I’ve recently read speak to this. When you are holding a grudge or letting someone constantly upset you, that is negatively impacting YOU. You are giving that person the power over you and you might be doing this over and over and over again.
- Going to the person. At work I’m a huge advocate of giving the PERSON that you have a problem with the feedback/voicing your concerns. A lot of the time, people share it with EVERYONE except the person. Why not discuss the comment, action, or concern directly with the person that has upset you? I always give myself time (even days) to calm down and mull it over. If I still think I need to bring it up, I’m ready to do it in a calm and thought out approach. Same with our friends and family! Don’t spit fire when you’re so angry, but do speak up if you are hurt to the person that caused the hurt.
When I was growing up my dad said that when you come across a new person you should see them as a friend right away, not an enemy. He truly lives this out and brings much joy to all those he comes in contact with in a day. I think that is a great way to be and I hope to model that to EVERYONE 🙂
I hope a tip or two from this post helped you. If you still feel like you could improve on this issue I would recommend reading any/ALL of the books and listening to the podcasts from Make a Push Toward the Positive.
Have a great weekend!