Hi friends! Happy Tuesday.
Hope everyone’s week is off to a great start. I almost cannot believe that we’ll be 38 weeks pregnant this week!
We’re starting to feel slightly underprepared. We just have a few things we want to get organized before our lives are taken over by a sweet newborn. Stay tuned to see if we can get these things done!
Yesterday, Max and I had quite the day. He has a tooth or two popping through and it is making him pretty uncomfortable. When this happens, he wants his mama to hold him the entire day and he is NOT his happy little self. At 37.5 weeks, the mama to a crabby toddler duty was tough.
A friend and I were talking about our mornings. She could completely relate to a needy toddler, a to-do list, and a heavily pregnant self (hey Lisa)! She suggested that I put him in the car and go get a coffee, just to have a little time to not be holding him. I thought it was the perfect idea and decided to knockout my workout for the day at the same time. Max and I took the 40 minute walk to our local coffee shop. He drifted off to sleep, and I listened to a podcast. I purchased my warm soy latte and then headed back while he continued to sleep.
That is my first piece of advice for a harder day: do something YOU enjoy. When you are in the throws of a tough newborn or toddler day, if you are anything like me your first thought might be to hunker down. BUT, the fresh air, movement, podcast, and coffee really helped me to reset my mind. Max also got the sleep he very much needed after his early wakeup call and I got SO many things that I needed.
Next, I very clearly communicated with Drew how demanding the day was and that it was really hard for my heavily pregnant self. Because I had a lot of work to do on Expecting and Empowered we made plans that I could go do it when he got home. I knew that Max likely wouldn’t take his long, regular nap because of his teeth and the cat nap he took to the coffee shop. When the time came for Drew to come home, I had a change of heart. I decided I wanted to stay home, help with Max, and spend time with Drew. It was okay if there was a 1 day delay in the E and E post I planned.
This is my second piece of advice: communicate clearly. I was very reasonable, rational, and kind when I spoke to Drew. Although I was feeling frustrated, I knew that he was working hard for our family and didn’t deserve an aggressive phone call. It is SO great to be able to say: “Hey, I really need time to work on my business” and for him to meet that with agreement and support. Although I didn’t take him up on this opportunity, I know in the future this WILL be key. My tiredness won our more than anything last night because the hike to an open wi-fi coffee shop or Panera is further than this mama was willing to go. 😉 At Max’s bedtime (8pm) I told my husband I was heading straight to the shower and staying upstairs for the rest of the night. I apologized for not being able to help clean (one of us cleans the kitchen and the other the living room each night so we can start the next day fresh). I just knew I needed to get into bed and that spending the extra half hour cleaning was just more than I could handle. Thanks to Drew for understanding and doing double duty on the cleaning! Xo.
It’s okay that there are hard days in parenting. One time, I posted on Instagram about my particularly hard parenting day. To which someone commented, “I’ve enjoyed every second of my 3 boys lives” or something exactly to that affect. If that is her reality, I’m really happy for her. That is NOT my reality. My sister and I were laughing yesterday about times when parenting has made us want to run for the hills. When Max was a newborn, there were days when he would cry MOST of the day. By the time Drew got home from work, I would literally hand him off like a football and go straight to the gym. I told Krystle that I’m not so sure those won’t happen again when I’m home with a toddler and a newborn.
My last piece of advice: it’s okay that there are hard days. Truth be told, we’d sign up for it all over again because the good by far outweighs the bad. I love Max with my whole heart as I know I will the next little one. Me saying that parenting is hard or that sometimes I need to hand him off DOES NOT make me feel like a bad mama. It makes me feel like a normal human that does get overwhelmed at times. Heavily pregnant toddler mommin’ ain’t easy. Newborn mommin’ ain’t easy. But it is ALL worth it.
It was my turn to pray at dinner and I praised and thanked God for the day and our little toddler that had caused it to be a trying one. 🙂 Of course he was pretty great for the rest of the night when daddy was there to help.
Hope that this message finds some people well! A note I often get on Instagram asks how I stay so positive. That is exactly why I want to share messages like this. Because 1) I like to be honest that I have really tough days too. Days where I’m calling my best friend and husband for encouragement before 10am. 2) There are ways that you can STILL find the happiness and thankfulness in each day.