Hi friends! Happy Tuesday.
I hope you had a great weekend, we sure did over here! We headed back to my hometown to celebrate Drew’s brother and our sister-in-law’s baby with a BBQ Baby Shower. My sister-in-law also happens to be my dearest and longest standing friend Michelle. The shower was super laid back and fun with families included. I would highly recommend this type of shower if you aren’t huge on the old baby shower games or you want to include the daddy too! It is always SO fun to see my high school friends (I’ve known them all since grade school actually) and we’re always quick to pick up right where we left off. We’ve added lots of little ones to the mix now, which makes it extra special and chaotic 😉
Before the party, on Saturday morning I snuck away to my friend and fellow blogger babe Lisa’s house. Her two girls and Max stayed with their daddies and the two of us did a maternity photo shoot together. We enjoyed hot Starbuck’s lattes and played dress up. It was an incredible morning together. We had to laugh when we thought about how luxurious it felt to have hot coffee, makeup on, hair curled, beautiful dresses on, and a break from mommin’. Not our typical Saturday AT ALL. I cannot wait to share the joint post we’re doing to go along with the photos. We’re going to highlight just how different pregnancy can be for people! Thanks to our sweet photographer Jenna and we cannot wait to see the finished product from you girl!
Onto the post of the day:
My inspiration for the post today came from a conversation I had while running with one of my best friends Carrie.
I just love this girl. She came into my life at my first nursing job, and we bonded super quick. It all started when I asked her how fast she can run half marathons, I was seeking a similar pace running partner 😉
As we often do, we went on a run together to catch up.
Carrie is: starting a new job (in the same clinic I work in!!!!), getting married next summer, and building a house.
I am: launching a business, growing a human, raising a little human, blogging, and balancing work.
After we talked, we came to the conclusion: our BIG things are different, but actually pretty darn similar in terms of demands.
The great things about friendships is that you don’t have to be in the same stage of life to show support or ruminate over the endless emails that are filling your inbox and needing answers.
A lot of times I think we let our different experiences and phases of life drive a wedge between friendships, but what I’m saying today is: what if we didn’t?
Carrie has been one of THE most supportive friends in my mamahood journey. She came right over to meet Max, has babysat him so I could go on job interviews, comes over to just hangout with us, invites us over to swim, invites me to workout together when I’m 38 weeks pregnant, cheers me and says: “You JUST had a baby!” when the last 10 pounds didn’t come off quite as easy as the first 30. She also always asks about Expecting and Empowered and baby #2.
And I love being involved in her wedding planning. I have gone through that process and I remember how exciting it is to go dress shopping or find the perfect dress for your bridesmaids. I found a babysitter so I could go with her when she picked THE dress. We scour the internet when we see a bridesmaid dress pop up on our Facebook feeds that we love. I ask about her job transition and cheer her on. I listen when she talks about the home building process and offer to let her move in if those darn builders don’t finish on time 😉
The key for us: we both check in with each other and treat the other person’s important stuff as important. I think this is essential in ALL relationships. I often hear women say, “Yeah, she just changed so much when she started dating him. She never calls any more.” And I always ask, “Do you call her?” Sometimes the answer is yes and that person really has let herself drift off. But sometimes the answer is no. And I gently say, “Just invite her to coffee or out to dinner the two of you!” I heard something lately that stuck with me on a podcast. Jenna Kutcher was saying how we have the tendency to make up stories in our head to finish the unknown. We think we know the why behind other people’s actions when we actually might have no idea.
Friendships have different seasons and it isn’t like all of mine are picture perfect or that I haven’t gone through some really hard changes. If I ever crack the code for making them all work and feel great, I’ll let you know. 😉
Lastly, I wanted to say that I still love and deeply believe all of this blog post I wrote: Love Them Where They Are. It has a similar message to this message and I cried rereading it this morning. Here is my favorite part:
Of course circumstances of life can make it hard to keep up with everyone. But what happened for me a year or two ago was I had to change my expectations of each friendship. I no longer wanted to get sad about the lost closeness, I wanted to remember the best times with each person + cherish the times that we would have coming up. I understood that we have all grown + made new friends. I’m SO thankful for that.
I believe that when you do see her you should give her your best and biggest hug. When she reaches out, you should be happy to hear from her. I chose to not worry about when the last time was or who is putting in more effort. When she needs me, I’m going to chose to show up for her.
As always, the post is a great reminder for me too. Sending a few special notes out today and I would love if you did too 😉
Have a great week!