Hi friends! Happy Tuesday.
I have about 3 blogs that I’m currently working on + excited to share, but this one just started spilling out of me last night. I love when that happens 🙂
Parenthood, you are a beautiful + busy blessing.
I turned to Drew the other night + said, “you love this even more than you thought you would, don’t you?” He smiled + nodded. I’ll echo the sentiment shared by many women before me: watching your husband become a father is an incredible blessing. Just when I thought I couldn’t love Drew any more than I already do, the love deepened. It shifted.
Maxwell is the biggest blessing + we love him an indescribable amount. He is our little man, our sidekick. He’ll forever be the baby that made us parents.
As we anxiously awaited his arrival, we discussed how important prioritizing our marriage would become. We would be the couple that made time for date nights. It wouldn’t be tough to get at least two dates in a month, right?
Well friends, it has been harder than we expected.
As a breastfeeding momma, I felt very attached to Maxwell for the first 8 weeks of his life. Everyone is different, but I had a hard time leaving him for more than a couple hours. He went through a bit of a fussier phase + I would quietly have doubts about leaving him in someone else’s care. I knew him the best + there were times when I couldn’t do anything to soothe him…how could I leave someone with a crying baby?
It was me that was crying before Drew + I left on our first date in July. Not because I didn’t want to go + spend time with my husband, but because I worried that he would be fussy the whole time we were gone. Also, what if he refused to eat from a bottle as he had in the past? Drew acknowledged + supported my concerns. The good news is that we were leaving him in the care of my parents, whose parenting skills I can vouch for. My momma + dad both encouraged me when I shared my concerns. They said, “Amy, you don’t think we’ve ever taken care of a fussy baby before? He’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. Enjoy your time. We’ll send you pictures.” Still, I literally forgot to put eyeliner on one eye + didn’t notice until we were in the car. I wasn’t exactly put together.
I remember at the end of the date when Drew asked if I wanted to go grab a drink somewhere before we headed home, everything inside of me was saying, “NO! I want to go home to my baby.” But, I didn’t. I knew that spending time with just my husband was something that I did value. I told myself this was an adjustment period, just like any other big change in life. I would get used to it + I would eventually feel less worried + more happy.
Sure enough, Maxwell was more than fine when we arrived home. He was sleeping in my own momma’s arms.
Now that months have passed, I can tell you that leaving Maxwell for a date has become much easier than it once was. Now that he is able to take a bottle like nobody’s business (thank you daycare!), I have more confidence. He is no longer as fussy. My boobs no longer fill up to an uncomfortable amount in 2 hours.
We’re both more used to being apart as I’ve long since returned to work.
Just like on Friday night, when my handsome husband + I went out to dinner. I cherished the time we had together, just the two of us. I didn’t feel the urge to rush home to Maxwell. Although he is never far from my mind, I could focus on catching up with Drew. On dating him. On investing in our marriage. Investing in the love that made our littlest love possible.
The truth is, we need to do need to do a better job of making time to date each other away from our house. We’ll eventually need to trust a babysitter other than our parents or our siblings (haha). We’re a work in progress over here, taking it one date at a time.