Hi friends! Happy Tuesday.
I have 2 more work shifts until vacation. I’m so very excited for time in a new + beautiful place with my husband. 🙂 Next week the blog will be on vacation too! Drew + I both believe in unplugging on vacation, so we can truly appreciate our time together and soak in the vacation. This means airplane mode, but I will reconnect with the world a few times + post a few pictures. You can follow us on Instagram: AmesKiefer. Otherwise, I’ll do a recap when we are back and share some of our favorite pictures + experiences.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt
Comparison is human. We have a tendency to do it and do it often. There are many aspects of life we compare ourselves: job titles, income levels, house size, vacation destinations, clothing. Worldly successes tend to drive our culture. Another way that we compare ourselves to others is body size/shape/weight. Today, I’ll mostly focus on comparing our bodies to other people’s bodies…but, perhaps you can reflect on what other comparisons drive your life and take a toll on your happiness.
Here is what you need to know:
You are one of a kind. We’re too unique to compare. Your body is unique from every other person’s in this whole world. For this simple reason, you cannot compare your it to others.
Example: My mind used to slip into the “you get what you give” mindset when it came to working out and eating well. I would think: if I’m working out 5x a week and eating well…why can she do nothing and still look good? I would honestly get slightly annoyed when people had naturally high metabolisms or smaller frames.
I’m thankful that I grew out of this mindset. Now, I workout because I want to be healthy and strong. I eat well because I feel the best if I fuel myself well. My body is different from everyone else, so there is no need to compare it to those around me or those on Instagram 😉
You are putting your focus on the wrong person. If you are constantly comparing yourself to someone else, you are wasting your focus on their life and not yours.
You are robbing yourself of joy and credit. Stay in your own lane by enjoying your successes.
Example: One thing I see constantly on Facebook and Instagram is before + after pictures. The person did program X and got Y results (typically they want you to buy into purchasing this program). And hey, there is no shame in my game…I sell AdvoCare and have even shown before and after pictures of myself or my clients. I celebrate all successes and hope that these people can stick to a new and healthy lifestyle…afterall, that’s the goal…right? It isn’t just for a vacation or wedding, right? 😉
These photos are motivating for the person that had the success and others as well. Here is the thing: say you are a person that did the same program and your results aren’t quite as impressive. Or your weight didn’t change. Do you stop? For most people, the answer is yes. I’ve seen it time and time again. The person put the time in and changed habits and they wanted fast results.
My hope is the person with slower results would stay in their own lane and decide that becoming healthier is worth it, even if the results are coming in at a slower rate. My advice would be to celebrate small successes along the way. Did you say no to a cupcake at work? Or talked your spouse into a healthy dinner at home vs. a pizza delivery? Or, you decided that you are drinking water all night instead of sabotaging your progress with bottles of wine? These could be huge changes for you and you should be proud of that too 🙂
You are comparing yourself to someone else’s highlight reel. Social media has us all scrolling and seeing beautiful images of our friends + complete strangers. I love following fashion + fitness bloggers on Instagram. I get lots of outfit, workout, + healthy eating inspiration. Along with these great reasons to follow, my newsfeed also fills up with these people with their awesome bodies in bikinis in the most exotic places in the world. Most people use their Instagram + Facebook as a highlight reel. They post pictures that are the most flattering + post the most fun things they are doing.
Example: I wrote a whole post on this that you can check out, Social Media is Not Real Life.
How do we snap out of comparisons?
Gratitude. Take pause and think about what you are grateful for. A lot of times we focus on the things that we don’t have or what we want next. Instead, focus on the blessings that are all around you. If you are reading this you are fortunate enough to have a computer or smartphone and internet. I’m guessing you also have food, clothing, + shelter. Start there and I’m sure you will start to feel pretty darn grateful for that life of yours.
Inspiration. As I mentioned, comparison is human nature. When you find yourself comparing, try to leave the situation more inspired than upset. Your friend landed a huge promotion and you’ve been stuck in a work rut? Ask her what she did and if she has advice for you. Same can be said if your friend lost a bunch of weight and your scale won’t budge…ask how she did it. Ask about her challenges and how she overcame them. You can leave these situations with new knowledge instead of despair.
Celebrate others successes + your own successes. Oh my goodness, I’ve gotten so much better at celebrating the success of others. Before I was always competing. My focus was in the wrong place. I put myself before others. Now, I’m a ton better at being genuinely happy for the success of my friends + family. Of course I’m not perfect at it, but I have it in the forefront of my mind as an area where I constantly want to grow and improve. Put others before yourself Ames.
Along the way, celebrate your own successes. Whether small or big, write down a few situations or accomplishments that made you proud. You don’t have to share it with anyone, but it is a good habit to get into. I give you permission to be proud of yourself + feel good about yourself.
On Thursday, I’m doing a pregnancy update! It has been a long time, so I wanted to let you guys know how it is going. I had two of my good friends Ali + Carrie (their backs are pictured above) write question about pregnancy and on Thursday I’m answering them!
Hope you have a great and comparison free day 🙂